Awhile back I read a book called "The Hardest Peace", by Kara Tippetts. This lady was diagnosed with cancer, which eventually took her life. Recently another book was published by her and a close friend, Jill called "Just Show Up". While the first book talks about how she was finding peace for herself during such a heartbreaking time, this book talks about how to walk together through suffering.
Jill, a dear friend of Kara's helped write from the perspective of a friend on the outside looking in, feeling helpless. Have you ever found yourself in this position? I think we can all say that we've faced some sort of obstacle, whether it be cancer, divorce, disease, financial problems or death. There are so many storms that we must walk through during our lifetime. These two authors took the time to discuss the opposite views: one being the sufferer, and the other being the helpless girl.
Upon diagnosis of the cancer, Kara found her herself feeling broken, yet ready to conquer things with her husband and family. She could handle everything on her own, taking the kids to school, meals, laundry, etc. When the chemo was battling against her hard, she realized that it was much more tiresome than she realized. There were so many friends and family who wanted to help. This is where Jill comes into the picture. A friend who wanted so bad to be a part of Kara's life, to help, give of herself and time. Don't we all have the instinct to help someone when we hear of a surgery or something else that is keeping them down? This was Jill, longing to be there, but then fear crept in and held her back. The what-if's started flowing. What if I take a meal when someone else already has? What if they don't want help with the yard-work? What if I say the wrong thing?? Normal questions, yet what if when Jesus knew of His death on the cross, He constantly asked God why, or what if I don't have enough time here? What if He was constantly questioning God? Jill learned quickly, that God asks us to be willing....not to be a pro at everything! I think that this is something we are constantly learning.
I want to take a minute and share how my family and I experienced people who were willing to "just show up", throughout mom's illness. We had people who were faithful to come and pray, they brought a prayer shawl and would pray in our living room and some who prayed faithfully at home. We had two Sunday school classes who so graciously brought meals every week so food wasn't an issue. We had individuals who would bring over flowers or a movie to watch or book to read. Did I mention the daily mailing of cards and notes? {and yes, we still have all of those} A sweet friend of my moms from many years before sent her an iPod to have music to listen too while taking her hours of chemo, or for those nights she just couldn't sleep. Another dear friend came over every week to take her vitals and always would grab moms hands and pray with her before she left. Then when mom's job was in Greensboro, and she grew weary of the drive, people from the church stepped up to take her to work and home everyday. Not once did she miss work because of not having a ride. Mom knew how to allow these people to help. I had a friend who would call me and say they were on their way, that we were riding to Greensboro to get a Starbucks coffee, and just talk or not. Mom was selfless when it came to not thinking things could only be done her way, and in return, I believe both her and those who helped were blessed. I know I was.
"When the lows come, as they inevitably will, cry and weep and mourn. When
good moments come, cherish them. When there's something to celebrate, turn
up the music and dance. Suffering gives us all the more reasons to find the
smallest good and expand on it".
As I saw personally how true this is, I also saw how blessed we were in getting to experience those feelings with those around us who truly wanted to "show up". Those friends, they are cherished. Those times together were full of some of the biggest blessings, even if during the hardest of times. So take a minute, and if you are yourself going through a storm, open up your heart to enable someone else to be a blessing and be used by God to serve you. If you are looking in from the outside, wondering what to do, open your heart and be willing to "just show up", in whatever way that may be. God will guide you and direct your words and deeds. Don't let fear stop you of being in a community of believers and givers. These are gifts to be used, not to hide. Be of encouragement to someone around you! Say hello or smile at them, a hug or pat on the back. Until you have walked a tough road, you will never quite understand the impact a simple card can make. So I encourage you to just show up for someone! Be that someone who is willing to walk through the suffering with them. Even in the gloomiest of times, God is here, and sometimes, just sometimes that blessing is found in a friend!
Jill, a dear friend of Kara's helped write from the perspective of a friend on the outside looking in, feeling helpless. Have you ever found yourself in this position? I think we can all say that we've faced some sort of obstacle, whether it be cancer, divorce, disease, financial problems or death. There are so many storms that we must walk through during our lifetime. These two authors took the time to discuss the opposite views: one being the sufferer, and the other being the helpless girl.
Upon diagnosis of the cancer, Kara found her herself feeling broken, yet ready to conquer things with her husband and family. She could handle everything on her own, taking the kids to school, meals, laundry, etc. When the chemo was battling against her hard, she realized that it was much more tiresome than she realized. There were so many friends and family who wanted to help. This is where Jill comes into the picture. A friend who wanted so bad to be a part of Kara's life, to help, give of herself and time. Don't we all have the instinct to help someone when we hear of a surgery or something else that is keeping them down? This was Jill, longing to be there, but then fear crept in and held her back. The what-if's started flowing. What if I take a meal when someone else already has? What if they don't want help with the yard-work? What if I say the wrong thing?? Normal questions, yet what if when Jesus knew of His death on the cross, He constantly asked God why, or what if I don't have enough time here? What if He was constantly questioning God? Jill learned quickly, that God asks us to be willing....not to be a pro at everything! I think that this is something we are constantly learning.
I want to take a minute and share how my family and I experienced people who were willing to "just show up", throughout mom's illness. We had people who were faithful to come and pray, they brought a prayer shawl and would pray in our living room and some who prayed faithfully at home. We had two Sunday school classes who so graciously brought meals every week so food wasn't an issue. We had individuals who would bring over flowers or a movie to watch or book to read. Did I mention the daily mailing of cards and notes? {and yes, we still have all of those} A sweet friend of my moms from many years before sent her an iPod to have music to listen too while taking her hours of chemo, or for those nights she just couldn't sleep. Another dear friend came over every week to take her vitals and always would grab moms hands and pray with her before she left. Then when mom's job was in Greensboro, and she grew weary of the drive, people from the church stepped up to take her to work and home everyday. Not once did she miss work because of not having a ride. Mom knew how to allow these people to help. I had a friend who would call me and say they were on their way, that we were riding to Greensboro to get a Starbucks coffee, and just talk or not. Mom was selfless when it came to not thinking things could only be done her way, and in return, I believe both her and those who helped were blessed. I know I was.
"When the lows come, as they inevitably will, cry and weep and mourn. When
good moments come, cherish them. When there's something to celebrate, turn
up the music and dance. Suffering gives us all the more reasons to find the
smallest good and expand on it".
As I saw personally how true this is, I also saw how blessed we were in getting to experience those feelings with those around us who truly wanted to "show up". Those friends, they are cherished. Those times together were full of some of the biggest blessings, even if during the hardest of times. So take a minute, and if you are yourself going through a storm, open up your heart to enable someone else to be a blessing and be used by God to serve you. If you are looking in from the outside, wondering what to do, open your heart and be willing to "just show up", in whatever way that may be. God will guide you and direct your words and deeds. Don't let fear stop you of being in a community of believers and givers. These are gifts to be used, not to hide. Be of encouragement to someone around you! Say hello or smile at them, a hug or pat on the back. Until you have walked a tough road, you will never quite understand the impact a simple card can make. So I encourage you to just show up for someone! Be that someone who is willing to walk through the suffering with them. Even in the gloomiest of times, God is here, and sometimes, just sometimes that blessing is found in a friend!